The Problem With Caring What Others Think

Eight hours. That's how long I spent crafting the perfect comeback to my first negative comment on LinkedIn. Eight precious hours of my life, brainstorming witty retorts and devastating counter-arguments that would surely put this critic in their place.

You know what happened the next day? Absolutely nothing. I woke up and couldn't even remember what I was so worked up about.

Yet despite this revelation, and despite the extraordinary opportunities that content creation has brought me, I still struggle to convince people to put themselves out there. The fear of negative comments paralyses them before they even start.

I get it. I really do.

When The Cheap Seats Get Loud

Recently, I shared my thoughts on a government initiative to help 800 unemployed graduates find traineeships. Given that Singapore produces around 12,500 fresh graduates annually from public universities alone, I pointed out that 800 spots represents just 13.3% coverage - hardly a comprehensive solution.

The backlash was swift. Detractors employed classic strawman tactics, demanding I provide better solutions rather than engage with the actual maths. Some resorted to personal attacks, questioning my intelligence for daring to critique government policy.

This time, I fought back. I asked one commenter whether he saw the problem as the problem, or me (the messenger) as the problem. I used analogies they could understand: if this were a corporate KPI, hitting only 13.3% of your target would be considered abysmal performance. If Department A pointed out that Department B was missing targets, would you tell Department A to shut up unless they had better ideas?

Something interesting happened. Not only did my pushback receive significant support, but every single negative commenter went silent. They simply hadn't expected resistance.

But here's the thing - whether I fought back or stayed silent, the outcome for my actual life remained the same: nothing.

The Theatre Critics Fallacy

Think of content creation like performing in a theatre. The people who matter - your future employers, collaborators, clients, publishers - they're sitting in the front rows, genuinely engaged with your performance. They're the ones who'll approach you after the show with opportunities.

The negative commenters? They're shouting from the cheap seats at the back. They paid the minimum price for entry, they're not your target audience, and they'll never buy your next show anyway. Yet somehow, we let their distant heckling drown out the applause from the front rows.

Consider this: in an office setting, people who genuinely care about you will offer feedback privately. The ones who criticise you publicly, in front of everyone? That's just an ego trip at your expense.

The Compound Returns of Courage

Despite knowing this intellectually, I still watch brilliant people silence themselves out of fear. It breaks my heart because I know what they're missing.

My content journey has been the single greatest accelerator of my career:

• My blog posts became a career guide book, launching my coaching business and corporate training practice

• My HR tech market map established me as a regional authority, leading to commissioned work and my entry into the HR tech space

• My podcast connected me with a guest who later became my boss

• That same podcast earned me early presenting experience, leading to co-hosting CNA's Work It podcast

• My YouTube channel opened doors to product reviews and sponsorship opportunities

• Consistent blogging and LinkedIn posting caught the attention of CNA's former editor, launching my foray into writing commentaries for mainstream media and connecting me with my publisher at Penguin Random House for "No More Bosses"

• A recent blog post has sparked conversations about a possible next book. (Stay tuned)

Every single one of these opportunities came from putting my thoughts into the world, despite the risk of criticism.

Your Tactical Playbook: Baby Steps to Brave

If you're ready to stop letting the cheap seats control your career, here's how to start:

Week 1: The Observer

• Spend one week just observing comments on posts in your industry

• Notice how quickly negative comments get buried by engagement

• Screenshot examples of constructive vs. ego-driven criticism

• Key insight: Most "feedback" is just noise

Week 2: The Supporter

• Start commenting thoughtfully on others' content

• Share posts that resonate with you

• Practice having opinions in a low-stakes environment

• Key insight: The community is more supportive than you think

Week 3: The Contributor

• Share someone else's content with your own brief take

• Add 2-3 sentences of your perspective

• Start with topics you feel confident about

• Key insight: You have valuable perspectives worth sharing

Week 4: The Creator

• Write your first original post

• Keep it short (under 200 words)

• Focus on sharing a lesson learned or observation made

• Key insight: Imperfect action beats perfect inaction

Week 5 and Beyond: The Professional

• Establish a posting rhythm (weekly is fine)

• Engage authentically with your audience

• Remember: the goal isn't viral content, it's consistent visibility

• Key insight: Consistency compounds

The Reality Check Framework

Before you let any comment derail you, ask yourself:

1. Do I know this person? If no, their opinion carries zero weight in your actual life.

2. Can this person impact my career? If no, they're irrelevant to your professional growth.

3. Is this constructive criticism or public ego-stroking? Genuine feedback comes privately; public criticism is often performative.

4. Will I remember this comment in a week? If no, why are you giving it mental real estate today?

5. Is this person my target audience? If no, their negative reaction might actually confirm you're on the right track.

The Truth About Tomorrow

Here's what I wish I'd understood earlier: the people leaving negative comments aren't your people. They never were, and they never will be. Your real audience - the ones who'll offer you opportunities, collaborations, and growth - they're quietly taking notes, waiting to see if you're brave enough to keep showing up.

The next time you hesitate to share that insight, that opinion, that piece of advice that could help someone, remember this: somewhere out there is your future boss, your next client, your potential collaborator. They're not scrolling through comments looking for reasons to discount you.

They're looking for reasons to work with you.

The cheap seats will always be loud. But the front row? That's where your future is sitting, waiting for you to take the stage.

What's the one thing you've been afraid to share? The world is waiting.

Adrian Tan
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