✍️ Adult Loneliness: The Equivalent of 15 Cigarettes a Day

"I have 1,000 friends on Facebook, but no one to feed my cat." — Esther Perel

As I age, the bar for true connections rises. My speed dial? Just family. I can count my dependable friends on two fingers.

You might think I should open my door to everyone. But as an introvert, that door feels stuck.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Introverts know the struggle:

• Initial introductions

• Remembering backstories

• Regular meet-ups to build relationships

Life stage matters. As a breadwinner and father of four, time is scarce. Sure, I binge Netflix, but I also post on LinkedIn.

It’s not just about meeting new people; it’s about connecting.

It’s not about “opening to diverse viewpoints.” That’s exhausting. Sometimes, you just want to relax and enjoy good company.

Many Singaporean men fondly remember National Service—not just for the training, but for the camaraderie and banter.

In the corporate world, there’s the “airport test”: Would you want to be stuck in an airport with this person?

I once endured a 45-minute car ride with someone I couldn’t stand. Torture. But there are also those conversations you wish would never end.

Loneliness is real. Over one-third of adults 45+ feel lonely; nearly one-fourth of those 65+ are socially isolated.

Loneliness is linked to:

• 50% increased risk of dementia

• Higher rates of heart disease

• Higher rates of depression and anxiety

It’s comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

15! At my peak, I smoked 10 sticks daily. Loneliness is a heavy smoker without the high.

As introverts, social events drain us. We prefer fictional characters over real-life interactions.

But 15 sticks? Let’s aim for 7 or 8.

So, I join group gym sessions instead of working out alone. I attend one social event monthly and play futsal on Sundays.

One key strategy? Turning online connections into offline relationships.

James Chia, a friend since 2018, is someone I can talk to for hours (Check out his company ArcLab that is providing Deskless Workforce Training). He has a great memory, which helps.

I seek:

• Authenticity

• Relatability

• Not weird me out

Keep your bar high, but also keep your door open.

Because it’s either that or 15 sticks of loneliness a day.

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🎧 Beyond FIRE: Exploring Semi-Retirement with Dexter Zhuang

In this episode of the Adrian Tan Show, we welcome Dexter Zhuang, a financial innovator and globetrotter who became a digital nomad in 2019.

Dexter shares his journey from climbing the corporate ladder in San Francisco's tech scene to exploring countries like Singapore and Mexico City.

He discusses his initial pursuit of the FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) strategy, why it didn’t align with his values, and his shift toward a more balanced approach to financial freedom.

Key Insights:

• Work You Love: Importance of passion in your career.

• Semi-Retirement: A new perspective on work-life balance.

• AI & Cultural Shifts: Redefining conventional career paths.

The conversation also covers:

• Cultural Differences: Variations in financial perspectives.

• Side Hustles: Their value for skill development and networking.

• Actionable Advice: Tips for pursuing a fulfilling career.

Check out Dexter's newsletter at Money Abroad.

The episode is also available on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.

📕 From Corporate to Freedom: My Journey in No More Bosses

In No More Bosses, I share my journey of leaving the security of corporate life to embrace self-employment. As a former HR entrepreneur, I understand the challenges and opportunities of a mid-career transition.

What You'll Discover:

• Assessing Readiness: Are you prepared for self-employment?

• Finding Your Business Idea: Tips for identifying the right opportunity.

• Building a Network: How to create a supportive community.

• Financial Realities: Navigating the financial aspects of going solo.

But my story goes beyond the practicalities. I candidly discuss the emotional highs and lows of leaving the familiar for the unknown, along with strategies for staying motivated and resilient.

With a blend of personal narrative and actionable guidance, No More Bosses is an inspiring resource for anyone ready to leap into self-employment.

If you're seeking the courage to break free from the 9-to-5 grind, pick up a copy today!

🍵 Probably The Best Iced Americano in Singapore

Luckin Coffee first caught my attention when its fraud scandal erupted in 2020, revealing inflated sales figures of about $310 million.

I thought that was the end for them, but on March 31, 2023, they opened their first outlets in Singapore.

By the end of their first year, Luckin had launched 30 stores, including one just a 7-minute walk from my home.

I've become a regular, often detouring for my favourite Iced Americano.

It's similar to what you'd find in South Korean cafes but tailored for local tastes—stronger coffee and less water.

Their frequent voucher promotions make it even better; I can snag my drink for just SGD 2.40.

With Ya Kun coffee nearing that price, I prefer Luckin for:

• Great taste

• Low acidity

First-time users can enjoy a drink for just 99 cents, and I've cleverly used my kids' phones to grab four more at that price.

If you're feeling generous, use my referral code for your first transaction—Luckin rewards both of us with a 99 cents coffee!